How to handle lying in kids with ADHD -ADHD Dude — Ryan Wexelblatt
𝙈𝙮 𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙚, 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙮.
𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝗱:
-Got pulled into the “argument vortex” about his lying, which could last for hours.
-Would hold things over his head until he told the truth. (“You can’t play Xbox until you tell the truth.”)
-Lecture him on why lying was bad.
𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘄:
-When kids with ADHD lie, it is often out of feeling ashamed.
-Trying to get them to “fess up” only causes them to feel more ashamed, lessening the chances of them telling the truth.
Lying is often done impulsively, without any forethought because forethought requires you to use your internal dialogue (“Brain Coach”) which is lagging in kids with ADHD.
The ADHD brain is delayed in non-verbal working memory (future thinking skills) thus they may not visualize various potential outcomes of a situation.
𝗧𝗶𝗽: What I teach parents in 𝙎𝙘𝙖𝙛𝙛𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝘽𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝘽𝙚𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙧 & 𝙎𝙚𝙡𝙛-𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚, my Parent Behavior Training program is to focus on the “clean up”, not the lie. This help kids understand that making amends to others and moving forward is what’s most important.
𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗗𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀, 𝗮𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲.
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