Why I do not group ADHD along with Asperger’s & autism — Ryan Wexelblatt (ADHD Dude)

If you follow or have checked out other people on social media who talk about ADHD you’ve most likely seen that they also group ADHD in with Asperger’s and higher-verbal autism (I don’t use the term “high-functioning autism”). I do not think there is anything inherently wrong with it but I don’t believe in doing that.

There are several reasons why I choose to focus solely on ADHD, ADHD with learning differences and ADHD with anxiety.

I should preface this by explaining that I have years of experience working with kids/adolescents and young adults diagnosed with Asperger’s and higher-verbal autism. I have spoken at autism conferences including the Autism Society National Conference, the Florida autism conference as well as at local autism conferences. Until I let it lapse this year, I held the credential of Certified Autism Specialist.

Here are a few reasons why I don’t group kids with ADHD together with other neurodevelopmental challenges. (For the sake of being concise, I am going to use the term “ASD” rather than Asperger’s/high-verbal autism and I do want to acknowledge that there are differences between Asperger’s & higher-verbal autism.)

𝗜 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗮 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆.

I do not present ADHD as a disability to kids or parents. In my experience, most kids with ADHD do not want to feel different, they do not want a diagnostic label to be their identity. Furthermore, society is never going to view individuals with ADHD as a person with a disability. Therefore, I feel strongly about teaching the things I teach, particularly the things that other people may not be comfortable teaching.

When someone presents as “neurotypical” to others, there is little understanding or empathy for their challenges (social, emotional regulation, executive functioning). We need to prepare kids for the world they are going to enter. One of the things I teach all kids is that ADHD is a description of how their brain works, it is not their identity.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝘆𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗰 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗦𝗗 𝗶𝘀 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗.

I’m not going to get too in depth here because it’s something I could write about for days. There is a quite common parenting dynamic within families of kids with ASD that develops naturally yet is almost never talked about because it is a taboo subject in the ASD world. If you do a search for this topic you will find almost nothing which amazes me. 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘫𝘶𝘥𝘨𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘺𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘤 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺. In families of kids with ASD there is often a dynamic where a parent (almost never both parents) and their child with ASD have an enmeshed and co-dependent relationship . When I would talk about this when presenting at autism conference I always had teachers approach me after the presentation and share with me how frequently they had seen this dynamic with their students but never heard anyone speak of it before, because (in my experience) professionals in the ASD field only speak about this behind closed doors.

Almost all kids with ADHD desire independence at some point. They want to separate from their parents, (the developmental phase of life called separation & individuation). This is not always the case for kids with ASD. I have seen many young adults with ASD who are capable of independence continue to be highly over-dependent on their parents. Sadly, some continue to have a deeply co-dependent relationship with their parent. This often becomes very problematic when the parent reaches a “tipping point” and decides they want their adult child to begin acting like independent adult.

𝗜𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗱𝘂𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗦𝗗, 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗷𝗼𝗯 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘆𝗮𝗹, 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴-𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗼𝘆𝗲𝗲𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗.

People with ASD tend to be “rule followers” and thrive on structure, predictability and can be extremely attentive to details. When in a job that interests them, that has a level of sensory stimulation they can deal with they can be excellent employees, often staying at the same job for long periods. (Some struggle to maintain employment). Some adults with a more impulsive ADHD profile have difficulty maintaining employment. This could be because of their difficulty tolerating boredom/repetitiveness, it could be because of their social learning challenges (being argumentative with a boss/customer, coming off as abrasive) or it could be because of their difficulty with emotional regulation. While this is not most people with ADHD, it is well documented in research studies.

𝗦𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗦𝗗.

One of the things that initially attracted me to the Social Thinking® methodology was the fact that individuals are evaluated and treated based on their social learning profile, not their diagnostic label. While I appreciate this focus on putting the individual before the diagnostic label, I will say that I almost never meet a kid with ADHD who has more pronounced social learning challenges than a kid with ASD. People with ASD tend to have more significant difficulty with perspective taking. They tend to have much more difficulty understanding context. (There’s a term for this, “context blindness”). Despite their deep level of empathy for others, many people with ASD have difficulty relating to others’ emotional experiences as well as advocating for themselves. In my experience, people with ASD typically need help “learning social” well into adulthood because they are less likely to pick up social information intuitively.

𝗔𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘆 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗮 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗱𝘂𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗦𝗗.

One of the primary features of ASD is anxiety. This anxiety, when not dealt with proactively and correctly can be very debilitating, to the point of making someone unemployable. Approximately 30% of individuals with ADHD also present with anxiety, however, I have rarely seen it as acute as in people with ASD. I have seen anxiety dissipate in young adults with ASD but not to the extent I’ve seen in young adults with ADHD.

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝘆 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗:

The majority of kids with ADHD who are older than 10 (which makes sense developmentally) do not want to be perceived under the umbrella of “neurodiversity”. (I find adults with ADHD often are fine with it and embrace it.) Part of adolescence is wanting to feel “normal” and fit in. Even if they have their own social learning challenges most kids with ADHD are acutely aware of their classmates with ASD more pronounced social learning and emotional regulation challenges, and do not want others to view them as being similar. I recognize that this may be difficult for parents of kids with ASD to hear and I want to clarify that it does not mean that the kids with ADHD whom I’m referring to here lack empathy for their classmates with ASD.

If other people who speak about ADHD online want to group ADHD and ASD together that’s certainly their right however my experience and what I’ve learned from the kids I’ve worked with has taught me that they are unique and very different, despite some similarities.

𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗-𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻?

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